CO129-425 - Governor Sir May - 1915 [10-12] — Page 694

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•

Spy-business was

After

York, Prisco, Honolulu, Tokohama and Shanghai.

And I was quite tranquil. not my business, I told myself.

all the British would only have to thank me for deceiving and be-

traying their "foes". Moreover I never did anything to bring them And I would not too ! Do harm hare, nor in words nor in actions.

to England would mean to do harm to France, her ally.

never

!

I will be short on the voyage.

New York. I was in a miserable mood.

stand the company of myself anymore,

And that

About 20th September I was in

One evening I could not

Everything is the room called

I became

MO: "thief I ran out, to find people in thestreets.

quieter. But then again, at my dinner in a restaurant opposite a telegraph-office in Broadway, I decided to return to Holland, to

own up everything. With that decision I walked into the telegraph

But then, office to wire to Holland my coming back, being ill.

again that vision of my wife and children in distress and poverty

Nothing more. It was and instead I cabled to her : "All my love".

for me a cry of my innermost heart for help from her, who I loved with all my soul. And I know, 0, I know perfectly wall: from that moment, that night in New York has begun my mental and moral agony.

I felt I travelled through the States as fast as I could. like one chased and hunted. 0, you, whatsoever it is, who will

read this, and when there чill be some one to read, you condemn too hard the evildoer. There are some of them, who are

I was miserable, condermed and terribly gunished by themselves. miserable, not to describe, And yet, this was the beginning only. In Frisco, I embarked in the "Chiyo Maru" (T.K.K.) I was

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don't

I felt it as a happiness not to have to lie to thers

alone.

any more.

་

I was so sick, so sick of that lying

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But now I had